18 Aug Learn to Yield the Ultimate Weapon: Charm

Charm — Your Greatest Asset

You’ll often catch somebody describes another person with a slight grin as “being charming”.

You know those people, the charming ones. They always seem to say the right thing, have no issues walking up to somebody they don’t know and starting up a conversation, and can make new friends wherever they go.

They climb corporate ladders quicker, land better jobs, surround themselves with top-notch acquaintances, and marry the brightest and most attractive people.

What gives?

Well, they know how to deal with people.

When a person possesses the charm factor, they own an invaluable asset in his or her personal and professional endeavors.

Whether it be dropping the right “pick up line” with the hot guy at the bar, winning over a new business contact at a networking event with a shining smile, or entertaining a group of friends at a party with an engaging story – charm is the ultimate weapon to achieve your goals.

It is about mastering the rules of social interaction to achieve maximum effectiveness in creating and building new relationships.

Charm is so important nowadays that author Brian Tracy wrote a whole book on The Power of Charm.

Jeff Haden from Inc.com wrote an article listing ten ways to be genuinely more charming other than sticking to politeness and modesty.

Charm should also not be confused with manipulation, it is not about deceiving others by using their psychological weaknesses to your benefit. It’s about highlighting commonalities with others and putting forth your best qualities to best relate to them.

Your Path to Charm

What was your name again?

“So how do I become more charming?” You may ask.

An excellent way to begin your path to ultimate charm is simple — remember people’s names. Yes, exactly.

There’s no sweeter sound to a person’s eardrums than hearing their own name being spoken. It’s unique and personal to us, making it a word people will love to hear and have remembered, especially since we’re so used to not remembering names.

According to a 2006 study published in Brain Research, researchers found that when a person heard their own name there is unique brain activation. Listening to your own name triggers your brain to react as if it were engaging in the behaviors and thought patterns associated with some of your core identity and personality traits. It’s familiar and redirects our attention immediately to the speaker.

So remember a person’s name when you meet them (no matter how important the encounter), repeat it a couple times in your head, and seal it in your memory for the next time you encounter that person. If you didn’t catch their name, ask them nicely to repeat it again so they know it’s important to you.

Address that person by their name (remember to pronounce it correctly!) next time you speak to them, it’ll be a pleasant surprise for them to see that you remembered and that’ll be a powerful charm punch.

Cheese! Smile

Another great trick to skyrocket your charm and get noticed on everyone’s radar is to unveil a personalized smile to each person you meet. Smiling is one of the most effective ways to brighten the mood and make your conversation partner feel special.

Studies have proven that when we see a smiling face, our brains release endorphins, chemicals responsible for making us feel happier and more relaxed. Smiling also helps us appear more attractive and confident, spiking up the charm and assuring your new acquaintances will want to continue the conversation further.

No ordinary smile will do though, to maximize your shiny grin’s effectiveness, try withholding it until you lay eyes on your person of choice. Don’t smile immediately or it will look fake, cheap, or not special.

Hold back your smile until you meet eyes with the person and then slowly (almost in slow motion!) expose each tooth until you end up with a heartfelt and sincere smile unique for that person. They’ll feel special and realize you don’t just flash your pearly whites to anybody.

Humor is the answer

Humor is a great icebreaker and can help ease any awkward moment, it’s also your ultimate weapon to charm anyone you meet.

According to an article on Forbes, humor is key to success at work. Author Jacquelyn Smith argues humor cannot only charm people, but it also puts other people at ease, buffers stressful situations, and adds a touch of humanity to your interactions – allowing people to come together as we all strive to find common ground with each other.

There are some important rules to note about humor, as it doesn’t work the same for everybody and you don’t want to end up not only failing in charm but offending someone too.

First, refrain from teasing or gossiping about other people to someone. You never know who you have in front of you and in today’s world, it is very easy to offend someone by uttering a coarse joke at somebody else’s expense. Just don’t risk it.

Second, to be charming, the greatest characteristic of a good joke is lightness and relevancy. Scan your environment, look for a good topic, and find a relatable one-liner suitable for your selected person and situation. Keep it light as a feather, simple to understand, and tailored to your target person.

With these two tips in mind, to snatch a smile out of and the attention of your potential new acquaintance.

Learning Charm will be your best investment

These techniques are just a crash course in Charm 101.

As you practice and learn how to interact with different people, it will come naturally to you to walk out of a networking event with a few business cards or out of a party with a few phone numbers in your pocket.

Thank you for reading!

What are your thoughts on Charm? Comment below 🙂

Cheers!