05 Apr How to Successfully Network as a Woman: Use This Innate Strength

Networking can feel dirty

Oh God, how I hate approaching people I don’t know without a valid reason. It kills me.

Finding the right icebreaker is always a challenge. What do they like? “Bread. Yes. Mention bread. Everyone likes bread. No no, you can’t just ask someone if they like bread without a reason. Hmm, maybe I could mention the weather.”

I’m not shy or don’t enjoy meeting new people, in fact I love making new friends. Friends networking is my bread and butter. Ok, that’s enough with the bread.

But in asking for favors or business-related matters, I just feel squeamish.

This feeling isn’t uncommon. Many people find networking uncomfortable and some even feel physically dirty, according to a recent study. We often attribute this feeling to the fact that professional networking can seem inauthentic.

And networking as a woman is a whole other challenge. I mean, a real challenge.

As women, we often feel like we’re not “cut out for networking” or that it’s more of a man’s thing. This is mostly due to TV shows and movies showing confident and assertive men doing business and blending friendships with work.

Men in fact tend to be more apt at networking, mixing their professional life with their private life to get ahead of the game. They meet more and more people that could help them achieve career development.

Men are also better at negotiating, something women feel less comfortable doing.

But this is just the tip of the iceberg, women have a lot more working against them when it comes to networking.

Women are still the primary caregivers at home, leaving them less time to go to events after work to take care of their families. Also, women feel more awkward networking with men at social events as their words or actions may be taken the wrong way.

So how does a woman network?

Well, we really need to shift the focus and zero-in on our strengths. Trying to network like a man won’t be as effective as relying on your natural assets.

We women love to build long-lasting and deeper connections with others, and we help each other out by forming powerful networks of support. We rely on our close female support group when times get tough and seek for advice when needed.

I know that when I’m feeling down I can count on 3-4 close friends who will listen and to whom I can share my inner fears with. In turn, I’ll always make myself available for these girls when they need assistance or reinforcement.

The same goes for job opportunities. I love helping my female friends be their best selves and advance in their careers. I’ll give out advice, ideas, and support their growth and subsequent successes.

So the secret sauce to successful networking as a woman is to foster a close inner circle with other women who can exchange career advice. According to research by the Kellogg School of Management, women who have this strong support system with other women are about three times more likely to get a better job than women who don’t have that inner circle.

It’s not all about having a vast system of connections, sometimes it’s about being more purposeful and strategic with fewer people. Small gestures such as thoughtful listening, creative problem-solving, and caring signals all help in solidifying strong bonds with others.

Gender-specific career advice is crucial to navigate today’s still widely unequal workplaces, and female mentorship can be a real game-changer for future female leaders.

Before joining a company, it’s important to get an insight into the culture and its approach to gender equality. Diversity and inclusion look good in brochures, but it’s all about the walk and not the talk when fostering strong cultures of equality.

If you don’t have a support group of female professionals to rely on, no need to worry. There are plenty of ways to approach networking without feeling overly promotional.

Once you’ve identified a potential new connection, instead of starting a conversation with “Could you help me with…” focus on creating shared value, such as “Could we grab a coffee sometime and see how we can collaborate?” It can feel less daunting for you and more interesting for them to offer value in exchange for value.

Another tip, instead of trying to network up the corporate ladder which can feel intimidating, try focusing on your peers. Strong professional relationships with your counterparts can increase job satisfaction and help you advance in your career.

Hone your natural abilities

Networking can have that “ick” factor, but it doesn’t have to be self-serving or over-promotional. Networking is mostly about helping others advance, creating and cultivating bonds that have a win-win effect.

For women, networking can feel especially daunting, but focusing on a strong inner circle of women can help relieve some of the pressure and act as a support system for career advancement. It’s all about rechannelling those bond-building strengths to your advantage.

Women helping other women are key to promoting more inclusiveness and equality, so let’s lift each other up.