Everyone always talks about the wonders of traveling and living abroad for longer periods of time, the eye-opening experiences, beauty, and opportunities for growth — it’s so popular nowadays for people to move across countries and defying borders, especially with low-cost flights and affordable accommodation.

But, few seem to address the difficulties and struggles that come with adapting and making a home in a new place far away from what’s familiar. So here’s an ode to the rollercoaster ride that is living abroad as an expat or an immigrant (because there’s really no difference).

“Dear expat,

You’re strong. There are many days when you feel free and adventurous like the world is your oyster and you’re ready to conquer any challenge that comes your way. Liberated by the chance to start your life from scratch in a place where no one knows you or your past, you’re able to reinvent yourself and break free from the previous societal constraints you grew up with.

You’re vulnerable. There will be days where you feel foreign, confused, and in need of a hug or pat on the back reminding you that everything will be okay. Without ready access to your family and friends, comfort foods, and familiar places, you have to rebuild your network and come up with new favorite spots and dishes in your new home.

You may have moved to your new home with an anchor, such as a job, school, or person who brought you there. You may still have that anchor, you may have lost it, or you may have never had an anchor to begin with. You’re missing security — something that reminds you that in case you fall apart, someone will be there to catch you, pick up the pieces, and put you back together again.

The phone calls, texts, funny memes, and tagged pictures with family and friends back home can only go so far when you need real advice, a hug, or a shoulder to cry on.

You’ll feel like everyone else’s life is moving on without you. Some friends are getting married, some are buying a house, and others are breaking up or finding a new love — while you’re stuck in a place far, far away, peeking through group chats and Instagram feeds.

Some days you’ll want to drop everything and catch the first flight back home to be present for all the important birthdays, holidays, and special events that you weren’t able to attend while away.

But, the hard bit of your adventure is that there is no going back, you’re here to stay. While everyone else’s life seems like it’s going forward, so is yours. Everyone operates on their own time, there’s no set one-size-fits-all timetable for everyone to follow — you’ve got yours and you’re on time.

For you are living a life with your own set of challenges that make you a stronger, wiser person. You appreciate family time more and cherish all the memories from back home, while also making new ones. Your family may be far away, but when you get back it’s like you never left.

In my case, some days I wish I had a steady group of friends, the “squad” you see in all the memes these days. Traveling from country to country prevents me from having that and in the past, I envied those who had friends they knew since they were children. A squad.

Now, I realize that I may not have that group I always craved for, but I’ve been able to make new connections with countless people around the world. These new friendships and bonds have enriched my life far more than I could ever have imagined. I have many people to visit when I leave and have learned so much from hanging out with individuals who see the world differently.

I also miss my family every day, I wish could pack them in my suitcase and bring them with me on my new adventures. This may not be possible, but I focus on being present in other ways, showing my love through late-night phone calls and visits whenever I can. This keeps them feeling close while showing how much I care about being an integral part of their lives even from miles away. Our bond has strengthened with time, as it’s mainly built on communication and mutual effort to stay in touch.

Last but not least, being alone most of the time was also hard at the beginning. Loneliness has been difficult to cope with, but it has also given me a lot of opportunities for some major introspective sessions, helping me understand myself better as a person and as a global citizen. I compared just how small some of my problems to other issues around the world and have put many of my experiences into a broader context. So if you’re feeling lonely or resentful about missing out on the fun your friends are having back home — embrace it. Take those emotions and add them to your repertoire as you build your identity capital.

Anyway, being far away from home will be hard and no one can prepare you for it, but you’ll grow from the first moment you set foot on new soil. Traveling is not the same as living somewhere. When you travel, you’re always able to find something that fits your taste — don’t like the local cuisine? There’s a Burger King around the corner. Don’t find your accommodation comfortable enough? There’s another one around the corner with better internet. Don’t enjoy public transport? There’s always Uber or a taxi floating by.

When you live somewhere, you’re forced to make new connections and adapt to the world around you, because it’s the only way you can survive.

You will carve out your little place while living side by side with people who think differently and won’t always agree with your values. As long as it’s respectful, that’s a good thing. You need to challenge yourself in order to grow, to break through the limitations of your mind and those pesky societal restrictions you imposed on yourself. You will come out of this a new person, shedding your old ways and incorporating the best of the cultures you’ve experienced.

So live your struggles today and see them for what they are — learning opportunities. Soak in all the lessons and hardships and incorporate them into the collage of your life, because it will all smile back at you soon.”