30 Jun Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For What You Want

Things are not always as they seem

I still remember the days when I was embarrassed to ask the flight attendant for a full can of Coke when the drink cart finally halted beside me. I thought it would overstep some invisible line the smiley air hostess, and I had tacitly drawn the moment I boarded the plane.

But turns out, she was more than happy to hand me a full can when I ponied up the courage to finally ask one day.

When I added “sorry for the inconvenience” after my request, she admitted that it was better for her to just hand me a whole can rather than pour a drink and wait for the soda to stop fizzing at every drop.

Now I’m not afraid to ask for that Coke can anymore, heck, I’ll even sometimes ask for an extra meal if I’m feeling extra hungry (hey, no judging!).

This fear of asking for what you want is a common feeling affecting people in all industries. But it’s important to note that sometimes asking for something can be a “win-win” situation. Who knows, it may even make someone’s day.

There’s an expression that goes, You don’t ask; you don’t get.

We’re human, receiving a rejection in the form of a no is a real concern and risk we’re often not willing to take. But if we give in at every no, if we stop trying to pursue what we want in the face of an “I don’t think so“, we will truly get stuck in the same reality. Without discovering what we could truly achieve by only asking.

When asking for what you want, there are a few important things to remember:

1. When you ask for something the answer may often be a NO, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a yes

Yeah, when you’ll ask for something you will often encounter a lot of no’s, but you will also receive a lot of yeses. The show must go on, keep asking no matter how many no’s you get. If you don’t try, you’ll never know.

2. Be mindful of how you are asking for things

The wording is very important when asking for something, the way you form a request can make or break your chances of getting what you want. Be as friendly, concise, and open-minded as possible. If you come across as unkind, take too long to make your request, or are inflexible with the outcome you may find that people will be less likely to help. Here are a few tips on how to be more confident and achieve more results when attempting to influence others.

3. Know what you want

Determination stems from the certainty of knowing the aim and desired outcome of a set of actions. By knowing exactly what you’re looking to get, it will be easier to pony up the courage to ask for it, otherwise, if you are uncertain you will also appear such. It’s your life and you get to choose what you want. Want to drop your 9-5 job and become a pastry chef? Ask where to take classes. Want to learn a new language? Ask someone to be your tandem partner.

4. Just because you receive a no, doesn’t make you incompetent

A couple years ago I crafted what I thought was the best looking personalized resume ever. I had all the keywords, the experience in concise bullet points, and even highlighted some cool achievements. I was so proud I used it in all my applications, certain I would get a call back in no time. Nope. I mostly got slapped in the face with silence, rejections, and the usual friendly worded “you have a great background but do not match this position”.

Anyway, I took my resume to an HR professional to get it checked and found out my styling and keyword choices were less than optimal, to put it lightly. I didn’t give up; I did over again and ended up building an excellent resume worth its salt.

5. You’re worth it

This is a big one. Do not feel you are powerless or have no right to at least ask for what you want. Demanding is one thing, asking is another. To be happy it’s important to feel you have a say and an opportunity to pursue what makes you happy. You are worth it and don’t let anybody make you feel any less.

So, having said all of this, what do YOU want? Post below, I’m looking forward to reading it.

And remember, you may not always get what you want, but it’s always worth a try – it may surprise you!