01 Jul How The Expat Life Will Leave You Feeling Too Foreign For Home
Posted at 07:30h
in Uncategorized
Coming back home from a journey changes you
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Ever return home after a long trip abroad, tell your friends and family about your experiences, and are met with vague excitement or a blank smile?
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You may feel like people don’t share your same expanded horizons or newly opened mind. They just don’t get it.
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You may feel like an alien telling them about that exotic dish you tried, that fashion trend you noticed, those funny foreign words you learned, or the crazy adventures you went on with random people.
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Living in another country or leaving for a long period may have you feeling like you’ve changed and never see home the same way again. Like a foreigner in your own territory. But then again, you were also a foreigner in your travels or stay abroad. Where do you belong?
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Culture shock is commonly experienced by travelers when being exposed to different norms, values, foods, and perspectives.
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According to an article on Medium, culture shock involves four different phases: honeymoon, frustration, adjustment, and acceptance.
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The honeymoon phase is a positive feeling of infatuation with the novelty in the food, people, and atmosphere in the new surroundings.
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The frustration phase kicks in after a longer period of time, when the usual errors and miscommunications start occurring. Things such as not being able to communicate or comfortably get around the new surroundings.
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The adjustment phase is when the expat feels some familiarity and comfort with their new environment. A network of friendships is established, the language is more understandable, and there’s a better sense of orientation.
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Finally, the acceptance phase involves expats feeling stability in their new environment. This phase doesn’t necessarily mean complete understanding or immersion in the new surroundings. It simply means the expat has realized that complete understanding is not mandatory to be able to be happy or thrive in a new setting.
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Reverse culture shock happens when you return home and experience shock again. This because you have to reinsert yourself in your old community and habits. Heck, it’s so prominent the U.S. State Department has a whole section about it. But I’ll leave that for another article.
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What is home?
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The idea of “home” is made up of four pillars: familiarity, communication, identity, and routine. It represents more than just a physical place in which we live. Home comprises different associations. Craig Storti mentions: “The essence of home can be described in three key elements: familiar places, familiar people, and routines, and predictable patterns of interaction”.
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So, home can be anywhere and we can feel at home anywhere if the place fulfills these criteria.
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But when you leave for a long journey or move to a new country you start incorporating elements of different cultures. You turn into a walking granny squares blanket of different colors and perspectives. This change becomes clear to others when you finally return home while you remain oblivious.
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“What are you wearing?” people might ask, “How can you eat that?” others may state in horror, “What happened to you?” they may finally inquire. You’re not the same. You don’t fit in with the previous home you knew before. You start questioning certain traditions and wondering why you were thinking the way you did so many years.
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It’s normal.
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Becoming an expat is one of the most challenging and satisfying experiences you will ever have. Living in another country or traveling extensively rocks you to the very core and changes you from the inside out. It gives you an immense amount of wealth and depth of knowledge – ultimately making you a more informed, humble, and empathetic person.
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But you may often feel like you are stuck between two worlds – the old and the new – never really fitting into either one. Often people in either world cannot relate to your experience. Taking off and living in a foreign country is still an adventure savored only by the brave.
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And that’s ok.
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It’s a privilege to be able to travel to another country and breathe in another culture.
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Maybe it’s time to nestle back into your old ways, appreciate home for what it is – home. Or, you can take off again for another adventure and absorb more foreignness like a newly opened sponge.
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After all, home is just a mindset away.
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Have you ever experienced returning home after a long stay abroad as a changed person? How did you deal with it? Comment below! 🙂