31 Aug Life Tips From A Twentysomething

Posted at 18:15h in Uncategorized by Anna Bertoldini

What a time to be a twentysomething

…Or not.

Or so that’s what society tells us. We’re constantly encouraged to be productive and learn new skills, yet also fall prey to the temptations of Netflix binges, Friday nights out, and eating whole boxes of Pringles.

While I was in college, my mother gave me a pile of books on how to best prepare for and live my twenties, which treated these years as a taxiway from which to take off for your thirties. Flipping the pages, the more “tips and tricks” and “things I wish I knew” I was reading, the more anxious I felt to get working on building my future life. I felt like I couldn’t waste time on frivolous social activities.

It makes sense to expect the unexpected, but life gets in the way and it’s important to realize our twentysomething years are also a time to enjoy our youth and all the open doors awaiting us.

In popular culture, we perceive being twentysomething as the best time of our lives. When we’re teens, we’re acting older to seem more like a twentysomething, when we get older we dress and sculpt our bodies to look likes our twentysomething selves again.

Mainstream media is obsessed with twentysomethings, from TV shows starring twentysomethings in college, as young professionals, or going through a life crisis not knowing which bagel to pick in the morning or if they will ever pay off their college debt.

Wherever we turn, there’s some sort of underlying message for how we’re supposed to feel or act in our “best years”. Should we be stressing over our careers? Should we be getting drunk every weekend and indulge in the permeating hookup culture? Should we drop everything and go backpacking around Asia?

There seems to be no right answer and the worst thought creeps up in the back of our minds is that we might waste these years by living them the wrong way.

Too busy between unpaid internships, paying bills, just scraping by, and lick clean the last sliver of peanut butter from the jar – does eating peanut butter from a fork for dinner count as dinner? – life seems to just move too fast. Adulting is so close yet so far.

Urban dictionary defines adulting as: to carry out one or more of the duties and responsibilities expected of fully developed individuals (paying off that credit card debt, settling beef without blasting social media, etc). Exclusively used by those who adult less than 50% of the time.

This shows how us twentysomethings are more confused than ever on what it means to be an adult in this new millennium characterized by rising real estate prices, college debt, financial insecurity, and a rapidly changing workplace.

You think we’ve got it all figured out, or maybe you’re just waiting for it to all fall into place.

Maybe you’ve graduated from college and are working at a coffee shop waiting for your big break, maybe you’re single and taking part in the proliferating hookup culture and partying until you find The One, or maybe you’re amid an under-stimulating entry-level job or internship waiting for your manager to notice you. Whatever your situation, you may be wondering whether you’re doing the right thing.

But what is this Right Thing, anyway?

Now, this is different for everybody and it can change and evolve as we find new ventures and opportunities opening doors and rocking our world at every turn.

But there are a few basic tips I’ve learned as a twentysomething that could interest you. I did not run a survey, a focus group, conducted a widespread research project or even consulted an expert. I learned these lessons on my skin.

If you have the time and resources, travel.

This is a tip that may pop up everywhere on the internet these days, but it is not something which can easily be overlooked.

By the way, I don’t mean traveling somewhere for the sole purpose of taking good pictures or act and eat what you would back home but on different soil, I mean immersing yourself – even for a short period of time – into another culture or perspective.

When safe, visit a local cafe or bar, take a look at what the locals do and replicate their manners, take public transportation, visit an important landmark, read up on local traditions, and maybe even learn a word or two if it’s in a foreign language. Try a local dish.

Struggling to do something outside our comfort zones is mind-bogglingly educational. You learn to overcome your fears and reap the benefits of learning to make it by yourself in a new place.

Try traveling solo, when possible. Meet new people. Start up conversations with random travelers or locals if you can. Ask questions. Share your stories, but especially listen to theirs.

Traveling enriches anyone that takes part in it, it’s a humbling and mind-opening activity that can benefit you in the long-run, you’ll have some extra knowledge about the world and you’ll collect some interesting stories to share with others.

Do something new every month

A lot of books, articles, documentaries, health gurus, etc. will tell you to try doing something new every day or every week, but I believe that’s difficult, life and laziness get in the way, so once a month is definitely feasible for most of us.

Begin by making a short list of things you’d like to do, similarly to your new year’s resolutions list. Start by trying out one thing each month.

Then, when conversing with friends, family members, colleagues, or new acquaintances, find out their hobbies and interests – when possible, ask to join them on one of their activities each month.

Finally, look up fun and cool new events around you to try out. You can use Facebook Local or MeetUp to find group and events happening around you and join one that attracts your attention!

According to a Forbes article, seeking novelty and engaging in new activities is beneficial. First, it triggers the release of dopamine – a feel-good hormone – which motivates us and, secondly, helps create new neurons and new neuron connections (translation: you’re learning!).

Talk to everyone

Every encounter is an opportunity to learn something new, so assume everyone is wiser than you in some way and has something to teach. If you’re at a party, an office event, a family get together, a club, on the street, or at a conference, don’t pass up an opportunity to start up a conversation with somebody you wouldn’t usually talk to. You never know where it might take you.

For my sixteenth birthday, I threw a party at a local club in my hometown and carefully selected a list of people I wanted to be there. I was very nervous to have everyone RSVP with a huge smile engulfing their faces and an enthusiastic “YES” to my special event. I carefully composed each text message and sent out the invite (this was before Facebook events) to every person anxiously awaiting their answers.

Most people responded positively, others were out of town, I was psyched to have most people attending!

Following a couple weeks of planning and a full day of decorating and picking up snacks for the guests, the day finally arrived. Invitees started coming to the venue in groups and pairs as I waited at the entrance to greet them.

After a while, a classmate of mine showed up with an apologetic smile and two girls accompanying him, hiding slightly behind his tall figure. I didn’t know the girls but I had seen them before around school, nevertheless, he had brought two people who weren’t invited.

Initially, I felt outraged and offended he had brought people without asking, but after a few seconds of consideration, I figured there was extra room and plenty of food to spare for some extra guests. I let them in and little did I know I would spend all night talking to one of those two girls, who eventually would become one of my very best friends to this day.

This tip applies to any event, you never know who you’re dealing with. In the classroom, the most unpopular kid may become your next boss.

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.

This refers back to my article where I write more in-depth about this topic but learning to ask for what is crucial to achieving your goals.

Asking for what you want is important to happiness and long-term satisfaction.

Think about the unthinkable. It’s never too early.

Kids seem like a loooong way away. So does marriage. Maybe even a stable relationship. Or just buying your first car. Why do it now when there’s always later?

“There’s so much time!” You may think to yourself. Well, yes, but not very much.

Start drafting an initial timeline for your life, with all your future milestones. You’ll find that time flies and all those abstract ideas aren’t so far away, after all, they also often require lots of planning and saving.

Obviously, they should go in order, you can’t plan to have a baby if you have not found a stable relationship yet, and you certainly can’t plan to buy your first house if you’ve only started your first or second internship – life gets in the way. But you can draft the easy and realistic stuff.

Get organized

Whenever I think of something I should or could do, I write it down immediately. Like any good idea, it can often float away and be forgotten if not set in writing somewhere.

If you’re an old school pen and paper person, take some time to write down your tasks or goals for the day or week, whereas if you’re more digital, pick one of the many apps available to organize and file your to-dos. You’ll find it much easier to complete your tasks and get more stuff done.

It’s not easy to keep your life together with all your to-dos, errands, and files, but luckily, there’s an app for each task.

There are great apps out there to help with organization, such as Evernote, SimpleMind, and Remember the Milk are all good choices to list, map out, and complete what’s on your mind. A twentysomething always has a digital version of a good ol’ pen and notebook, so you’ve got no excuse, your phone is in the palm of your hand.

Put others before yourself.

Have you ever counted the times you say “me”, “myself”, or “I” when you speak?

Have you ever noticed how little you put yourself in other people’s shoes in different situations?

Well, you’re not alone. As society becomes more focused on individualism, it’s hard to remember we’re part of a wider community, it’s not a “millennial” or twentysomething problem, it’s everybody. We’re all trying to get by.

Practice putting other people’s interests first – not always, but a little bit at a time – and try to imagine being in their shoes. In fact, follow the Platinum Rule, which is a more sensitive version of the Golden Rule, which roughly states “treat others as you would like to be treated”. The Platinum Rule takes it a step further by stating “treat others as they would like to be treated”.

Read other people, figure out their wants and needs, and take the time to speak to them and tell them what they want to hear. You may learn something new.

I remember how I always used to have an issue with compromising. If someone had different intentions from me or wanted to talk about a certain topic that wasn’t interesting to me, I’d part ways to do what I wanted or find someone else who wished to discuss more similar topics to mine.

But a few months ago an ex-coworker good friend of mine (who’s also a twentysomething) approached me with a renowned book about smart investing. At the time, investing, the Wall Street Journal, and talks about finances were no closer to my interests than the planet Pluto is to the Sun. Warren Buffett was a name I heard being tossed around but I never took it upon myself to look up his profile. I also considered the Stocks app on my iPhone to be stealing precious space that should be allocated to more dog pictures from the internet. You get the point.

After an initial feeling of discomfort in not being able to discuss this topic openly, I noticed my friend was eager to get me into investing and to exchange ideas on the topic, so I gave it a go. I read the book.

Well, I wouldn’t be exaggerating when I say that that book was the beginning of a growing knowledge and strong appreciation for the financial world and its workings. Now I can read the Wall Street Journal and can decipher all the acronyms I once considered a foreign language. I also began investing myself, little by little.

Now my friend and I have countless conversations about the financial market and I’ve been able to hold my own discussing with many others on this topic. I’m happy I gave that book a shot.

Put other’s interests before your own sometimes, you’ll feel good about doing something good for somebody else and you’ll maybe learn something new!

Here are some facts: more altruistic people live longer and healthier lives. People 55 and older who volunteer for two or more causes have a whopping 44 percent of her chance of living longer. Helping others protects overall health two times as much as aspirin shields us from heart disease.

All good reasons to do good.

Be mindful

My final tip as a twentysomething is probably the most important one. Being mindful.

Mindful of yourself, of others, and of reality.

Be mindful of who you are, your achievements and shortcomings, your mental and physical health, your plans for the future and your relationship to the past. As a twentysomething, know yourself and take the time to explore how you feel.

Be mindful of others, respect those around you and be tolerant of different opinions, cultures, and stories.

Be mindful of your reality and how to change it in case it doesn’t fit you anymore. You are the driver of change and the sole person capable of making a difference in your life.

So there you have it, tips from a twentysomething.

Were these useful? Let me know what you think in the comments 🙂

Tags:

body, business, communication, culture, education, happy, inspiration, life, millennial, skill, twentysomething

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