30 Sep The Crippling Pressure of Being in the Age of In-Betweens
Posted at 13:52h
in Psychology
In a little over a month, I’ll be 25. I’ll be exiting my “early twenties” and entering my mid- or late twenties. At this age, I’m considered a young adult.
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But what does it mean to be a young adult? I’m held accountable for my actions, but I’m still allowed to sometimes make mistakes for a lack of better judgment?
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Am I expected to have it all figured out or am I just floating on a blurry timeline full of gaps and ifs? I’m supposed to save for retirement but can still go out and blackout on a Friday night. I’m paying my own bills but can still expect Christmas and birthday money from my parents. I’m still confused about what society expects from people my age. We’re pressured to plan but cautioned to take it easy because we’re still young.
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Looking back I’ve really been through a lot and can speak confidently about a wide range of topics, having a voice in the room and experience to back it up. But being 25 is hard, everyone has different expectations of what it means to be in-between the early and late twenties. Some would say you should work your butt off, focus on your career, and build the necessary skills to flourish in the future as a professional. Others would say you’re young and should explore the world, focus on finding yourself and what you want before diving into a career path.
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No matter which path you choose, if you’re twentysomething, you’ll feel like you could be doing something better. You could be working, studying, buying a house, getting married, or having a baby and you’ll question each move, comparing yourself to peers. And what a variety of people doing strikingly different things at our age! My Facebook feed is an endless stream of pictures of college buddies getting married, ex-coworkers traveling through Asia, and childhood friends starting a business.
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All this makes me think — Am I late? Should I be doing something differently or taking a different path altogether? Everyone seems like they’ve got it all figured out except me.
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Up until recently, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do or what I was good at. My secondary school specialization in Italy was in arts and design because I loved sketching and reading Japanese mangas. In college, I double-majored in communication and international relations. Finally, I graduated with a master’s in marketing and sales, focusing on key account management and sales. To say I have a wide array of interests is an understatement.
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Who am I?
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Taking some time to reflect and take note of my strengths and weaknesses, I started connecting the dots. I found that I love dynamic and international environments, focusing a lot on human interactions and relations.
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I also love learning new skills and work best under pressure — solving problems and making people happy.
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I learned that being able to balance my work and private lives are important to me. Making time for myself is important to me. Pursuing what I love and not settling for anything less is important to me.
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If that translates into carving out my own path while others around me branch out in different directions, so be it. There will be more stories to share around the table and learn from, as everyone lives their own unique experiences.
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All this rambling leads me to one major point, if you’re also a twentysomething and feel like you’re falling behind, you’re not. You’re living the life the way you want to, and if that’s not the case, here’s my piece of advice: make sure you are. Don’t let society or self-doubt influence you, because this is the time to take those 180 degrees turns. They will allow you to make mistakes and find out what your true passions are. If you’re not a twentysomething, tell your twentysomething loved one that it’s going to be okay and that they’re allowed to be lost. If you have any, please share any tips or experiences you may have for the rest of the class.
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Also, can I just bust a myth? Not everyone has to have a life purpose. Sure, some people find exactly what they were put on earth to do, either through their upbringing or via a life-changing epiphany. For the rest of us, there isn’t a thing you are “supposed to be good at”, or are “meant to do” — this notion puts so much pressure on young adults. You can be good at a lot of activities and have a plethora of interests to pursue. You just need to find a way to have fun and be productive.
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No one can teach you how to live in the age of in-betweens, so ditch the auto-pilot mode and take control of your life. Because nobody knows you better than yourself.